So many thoughts....So Little time....
Born June 1963, without the work of a deity and just as unexpected as the universe began, so did I...
My dad was ex-military (Navy) witnessing the "A-bomb" tests on what was then the Bikini Islands during world war II. After returning home he worked as a toll operator for Bell telephone. Later he took over running the motel business for his mother prior to her death...My mother, (Raised in a strict catholic family.), only worked two jobs her entire life. The first as a usherette at a Movie theater (Where she met my father.) later she worked and retired after 45 years from First Interstate Bank ; Both doing their best to keep our home intact. My sister (12 years older) when I was brought home, was instantly the baby sitter and made responsible for my welfare; When our parents were away, she was understandably reluctant to do so, and in turn missing many activities due to our parents absents.
Dad was happy to have his son, yet my mother said when I was grown that she loved my dad, but really didn't want children...Some, I'm sure would find this disturbing, yet my mother felt that bringing a child into his world, would only impose suffering upon another generation...
Looking back I see that they both had depression issues undiagnosed, in turn self medicating themselves with the potions of that period. (Alcohol and cigarettes). I too struggled with depression and addictive tendency. It's my belief this had been handed down genetically, thru both sides of my "family tree" including the disease that was diagnosed in my late twenties that took the lives of some of my relatives due to the complications there in, if it wasn't for medical technology I too would have succumbed early in life. Undergoing many operations, and living with Chrones disease doesn't identify "who I am", It's just something that has to be kept in check until the body gives out In the End...
I went through school... Kept my head my head down and didn't stand out... Not really shy but didn't fit in really. I had some friends but later found it was mainly just for "partying purposes". Finished school,(with below average grades) started a family (early) kept my head down and worked hard to keep my "head" above water (looking back to no avail.) I lost my health, lost my family and then lost my job (Boo Hoo Hoo Right?) So what, life goes on....Though it was so dramatic then.
Who's Cam?.....No one. Why the hell did I choose to add "RT"?? Regardless of the poor view of how Ruthless Truth did business, and the reputation that ensued, that's where " I " died.... The Truth is ruthless...It takes courage and honesty to see it.
What was he? Not a scholar, or a writer, or one with a degree by jumping through hoops to do something for a living that will show everyone that I achieved expertise at career in life. Marrying at a young age and like everyone else just trying to survive in the society we live....
I've had my share of career's and hobbies. During high school and until the motel was eventually sold, (following my grand mothers death) I helped my family run the motel, managing the front desk along with maintaining the building and grounds. Most of my career's ended up falling back on the ability of construction and repairs of buildings and home repair which was how I eventually started at a bank as a building engineer for then Security Bank of Nevada. Three years later the manager of electronic banking, noticed how hard and dedicated I was and hired me as an Account Manager and ATM/ Credit card machine installer for Bank of America, our most lucrative accounts were the "Casinos and Cat houses" that were maintained on a weekly basis and were on-call 24 hrs all over northern Nevada. Doing so until my health eventually failed a decade later...
I've never been one that appreciated being stereotyped...Yet society imposes this by labeling even the most mundane of tasks...We can start by the roles and labels of grand parent, dad, husband, and guide in more ways than one.
I play guitar, work on my own vehicles, groom my dogs, maintain the house inside and out. All in the attempt to save money and budget like everyone else.
You could say I go by many labels yet not one can describe what it is, I really am.
Looking back on life I was destined for liberation. As a youngster I was quiet and reserved, more like a observer than a social butterfly...I've always been intrigued by illusions, subliminal messages and the like, and enjoyed seeing the truth behind every situation; I've never been one to follow the crowd...In retrospect a lot of how I viewed real life turned out to be the puzzle pieces that fell into place and finally put this mind at peace, once liberation brought clarity, solace, and acceptance of what is upon this mind.
My dad was ex-military (Navy) witnessing the "A-bomb" tests on what was then the Bikini Islands during world war II. After returning home he worked as a toll operator for Bell telephone. Later he took over running the motel business for his mother prior to her death...My mother, (Raised in a strict catholic family.), only worked two jobs her entire life. The first as a usherette at a Movie theater (Where she met my father.) later she worked and retired after 45 years from First Interstate Bank ; Both doing their best to keep our home intact. My sister (12 years older) when I was brought home, was instantly the baby sitter and made responsible for my welfare; When our parents were away, she was understandably reluctant to do so, and in turn missing many activities due to our parents absents.
Dad was happy to have his son, yet my mother said when I was grown that she loved my dad, but really didn't want children...Some, I'm sure would find this disturbing, yet my mother felt that bringing a child into his world, would only impose suffering upon another generation...
Looking back I see that they both had depression issues undiagnosed, in turn self medicating themselves with the potions of that period. (Alcohol and cigarettes). I too struggled with depression and addictive tendency. It's my belief this had been handed down genetically, thru both sides of my "family tree" including the disease that was diagnosed in my late twenties that took the lives of some of my relatives due to the complications there in, if it wasn't for medical technology I too would have succumbed early in life. Undergoing many operations, and living with Chrones disease doesn't identify "who I am", It's just something that has to be kept in check until the body gives out In the End...
I went through school... Kept my head my head down and didn't stand out... Not really shy but didn't fit in really. I had some friends but later found it was mainly just for "partying purposes". Finished school,(with below average grades) started a family (early) kept my head down and worked hard to keep my "head" above water (looking back to no avail.) I lost my health, lost my family and then lost my job (Boo Hoo Hoo Right?) So what, life goes on....Though it was so dramatic then.
Who's Cam?.....No one. Why the hell did I choose to add "RT"?? Regardless of the poor view of how Ruthless Truth did business, and the reputation that ensued, that's where " I " died.... The Truth is ruthless...It takes courage and honesty to see it.
What was he? Not a scholar, or a writer, or one with a degree by jumping through hoops to do something for a living that will show everyone that I achieved expertise at career in life. Marrying at a young age and like everyone else just trying to survive in the society we live....
I've had my share of career's and hobbies. During high school and until the motel was eventually sold, (following my grand mothers death) I helped my family run the motel, managing the front desk along with maintaining the building and grounds. Most of my career's ended up falling back on the ability of construction and repairs of buildings and home repair which was how I eventually started at a bank as a building engineer for then Security Bank of Nevada. Three years later the manager of electronic banking, noticed how hard and dedicated I was and hired me as an Account Manager and ATM/ Credit card machine installer for Bank of America, our most lucrative accounts were the "Casinos and Cat houses" that were maintained on a weekly basis and were on-call 24 hrs all over northern Nevada. Doing so until my health eventually failed a decade later...
I've never been one that appreciated being stereotyped...Yet society imposes this by labeling even the most mundane of tasks...We can start by the roles and labels of grand parent, dad, husband, and guide in more ways than one.
I play guitar, work on my own vehicles, groom my dogs, maintain the house inside and out. All in the attempt to save money and budget like everyone else.
You could say I go by many labels yet not one can describe what it is, I really am.
Eventually I met my second wife, she brought sanity to a pretty insane
and chaotic life that I was living...If it wasn't for her; I probably
wouldn't be here now ( At least in this capacity.) I've come full
circle in my life from a middle class childhood, to poor, then wealthy,
to poor again...I've found money neither cures or helps but it seems without it, society requires "funding" while playing this "game" living life on this planet. In deed times have changed immensely since our ancestors, and what little money they made to get by on, now is a joke compared to what is nessesary now. Yet another sign of impending economic collapse.
Looking back on life I was destined for liberation. As a youngster I was quiet and reserved, more like a observer than a social butterfly...I've always been intrigued by illusions, subliminal messages and the like, and enjoyed seeing the truth behind every situation; I've never been one to follow the crowd...In retrospect a lot of how I viewed real life turned out to be the puzzle pieces that fell into place and finally put this mind at peace, once liberation brought clarity, solace, and acceptance of what is upon this mind.
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